Follow the bouncing ball ...
IN A GRIM WEEK for news, there aren’t a lot of reasons to feel upbeat. But we’ll sort through the rest of the headlines and try to find a reason or two to make you smile.
BOO WEEKLEY WINS HERITAGE GOLF TOURNAMENT And we thought The Masters winner was obscure. This guy sounds like a specialty publication for ghosts.
POLICE INTERVIEW USC RUNNING BACK ABOUT GUNFIRE AT PARTY Someone must have fired in the air only to keep Stephen Garcia from keying cars.
LONGTIME CITY COUNCILWOMAN WON’T SEEK RE-ELECTION Anne Sinclair decided to call it quits after Mayor Bob started demanding council members call him His Royal Bobness.
PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE MAKES STOP IN SENECA HOMETOWN The most controversial part of John Edwards’ speech came when he said, “Man, I’m glad I don’t live here anymore.”
LEGISLATORS WANT TO AVOID NEW CONFEDERATE FLAG FLAP STARTED BY SPURRIER Lawmakers hope to run out the clock on this issue while they’re behind.
N.C. MAN WINS $15 MILLION WITH S.C. POWERBALL TICKET Proving once again why the Palmetto State is better than the Tar Heel State.
SEN. MIKE FAIR ON JOHN MCCAIN’S CAMPAIGN PAYROLL Fair is being paid to get out the vote. So far he’s lined up everyone in his immediate family.
USC BEATS CLEMSON IN BASEBALL FOR THIRD TIME It’s gotten so bad that the Tigers are considering switching to cricket.
SANJAYA FINALLY GETS THE HOOK ON “AMERICAN IDOL” He was like Shaun Cassidy — without the voice or the edginess.
ATTORNEY GENERAL TESTIFIES BEFORE U.S. SENATE COMMITTEE Afterwards, President Bush slapped his back and said, “Gonzie, you’re doing a heckuva job.”
VERMONT SENATE CALLS FOR IMPEACHMENT OF BUSH AND CHENEY The New Hampshire Senate, however, voted to let them take early retirement.
ALEC BALDWIN BERATES YOUNG DAUGHTER IN VOICEMAIL The Vermont Senate quickly voted to impeach him as Father of the Year.
S.C. OYSTER FESTIVAL AT CAPITAL CITY STADIUM TODAY We think Blowfish is also on the menu.
EARTH DAY IS SUNDAY To participate, you’ll need a tie-dye T-shirt, Birkenstocks and an autographed photo of Al Gore.
See more at www.thestate.com
